Tristan Thompson clearly has a pattern.
When his ex-girlfriend Jordan Craig was pregnant with his son, Prince, in 2016, he began dating and presumably boinking Khloe Kardashian.
Now, those of us that follow celebrity news see that he has also been boinking other women during Khloe’s pregnancy with their newborn daughter.
To put it more tactfully, expectancy is obviously not homeboy’s thing.
And he isn’t alone. According to Men’s Health Magazine, ten percent of fathers cheat on their pregnant partners, and the cheating may be psychologically or sexually motivated – it depends.
He also isn’t the only serial cheater out here. In fact, the majority of cheaters are serial cheaters. Clinical studies confirm: People that cheat in one relationship are extremely likely to cheat in another.
It’s apparently human nature *in my MJ falsetto*.
I also think it’s human nature for women that become infatuated with cheating men to attempt to believe these men will not cheat on them, and that is why I’m writing this post – to disrupt this narrative.
I think these women that hook up with known cheaters fall into a trap of believing these cheaters didn’t love their former partners, and that’s why they cheated on them, but that’s bullshit.
Cheating has nothing to do with love.
A man doesn’t cheat on a woman because he doesn’t love her anymore. He doesn’t cheat on a woman because some other woman “makes” him fall in love with her and betray his commitment to his partner.
He doesn’t even cheat out of boredom or sexual frustration. He may be bored with his partner or sexually frustrated in his relationship, but neither of these is the reason he cheats rather than ending the relationship in which he isn’t happy and starting a new one.
Men cheat because they lack character. Everyone that cheats cheats because they lack character, simple as that.
Women – you can tell yourself that when you started that relationship with that man that had a wife or live-in partner or girlfriend, you couldn’t help it; you were in love and needed to be with him, no matter the circumstances.
But that’s a lie.
You agreed to help that man hurt and humiliate that woman because you were jealous of her. Or you were her once, and some other woman helped your ex hurt you, and you need the validation of being the one that is chosen and not the one that is cheated on.
Or you are so afraid that no one else will like or love you that you ignore the wrong you are doing. Or you are so tired of looking for love or being alone that you don’t allow it to matter that you are building your happiness on the ruin of someone else’s.
It’s not the love that I’m contesting here. It’s the decision to be with someone that isn’t free, knowing that he isn’t free.
Character, in the dictionary, is defined as the “mental and moral qualities” that we all possess.
So when I say that cheaters cheat because they lack character, I’m not saying that they’re awful or irredeemable people. Although, some of them may be.
I am saying that cheaters lack qualities that would impel them to make more honorable and compassionate choices in romantic relationships than sneaking, lying, hiding, tricking, and gas-lighting.
They may lack honesty or generosity or empathy or maturity or – yes – dignity – it depends on who they are and why they’re cheating.
But what isn’t debatable is that if they were as evolved as a person needs to be if he or she is going to ask for another person’s trust in earnest, they wouldn’t take that trust, stomp on it, and invite another person to come over and join in.
The only really adult and decent thing to do when you are so unhappy in a relationship that you want to explore other romantic options is to tell your partner and leave the relationship.
It doesn’t matter how much you “love” the person that you are thinking of leaving; if you cheat on him or her to avoid the difficulties and discomfort that come with telling them the truth, you are not doing it to spare your partner, you are doing it to spare yourself, and your ass lacks character.
Now, what does this mean?
You will love who you love. You will be with who you choose. But if he or she is a cheater, then you must face the fact that he or she is also a chooser. He or she chooses to cheat. Love does not make them cheat, and it won’t make them be faithful to you.
So just be ready.
And be able to admit – when they do cheat – that you allowed this to happen to you on some level.
No, that doesn’t make it right, but it does make it so.